Friday, March 10, 2006

With A Rebel Yell, He Wants More, More, More.

So it turns out that good feeling I had was just a residual reaction from the drugs I was taking for my wisdom teeth. If I were in an unencumbered state, I would have said there was no chance of the Blazers beating one of the best teams in the NBA, regardless of how they performed 2 days earlier. Let that be a lesson to all you kids out there: Never operate heavy machinery or predict a Blazers win while under the influence of narcotics.

While the Blazers continue to skim the bottom of the Western Conference like so many basketball playing catfish, the biggest fish in the Portland pond continues to stack his chips. Though you wouldn't know it from the posturing of his stooges at Vulcan Inc, Paul Allen continues to be somewhat of a wealthy man. According to Forbes (via the kick-ass Helen Jung), he's the sixth biggest baller, shot caller, 20-inch blades on the Impala human-being on the face of the earth, jumping up from the seventh spot he held last year. No word yet on when Forbes will be releasing the list of the world's "Luckiest S.O.B.'s Who Ride Bill Gates' Coattails," but I'm sure Paul is one of the frontrunners on that compellation as well.

I'm sure Allen called his equally hideous friend Steve Forbes and asked him to hold off on publishing the list until he had the chance to squeeze Portland's collective shoes for a little while longer, but business is business. Paulie Walnuts made a cool billion last year, improving his net-worth to 22 billion dollars, which begs the question: How can you cry poverty when, even in the face of numerous poor business decisions, you still manage to make money? My guess is that Allen follows the Wu Tang School of Finance, which goes something to the effect of "Cash, rules, everything, around, me. C.R.E.A.M. get the money. Dollar, dollar bills y'all."


At 5:03 PM, Anonymous ddavis said...

I'm also guessing Paul came away with the sage advice, "diversify your bonds nigga." A new record and Paul as a disciple? Truly the Wu is worldwide


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