Blazers Got No Sac

When the worst offensive rebounding team meets the worst defensive rebounding team, someone is going to end up looking stupid. And since this is 2006, and Portland is on a downward spiral not seen since a giant whirlpool swallowed the city of Atlantis, I bet you can guess who ended up getting punked, and who did the punking. Giving up 17 offensive rebounds is a sure fire way to lose, and lose the Blazers did. Brian Skinner showed his old team what for, though the other guys who hadn't previously played for the Kings didn't seem to have the same motivation. So really, this lose was managements fault. All they would have to do is acquire players from other teams the day before the Blazers play that team. Tonight, for example, the Blazers play the Hell-A Kobe's. All John Nash needs to do to guarantee a motivated effort is to trade for Smush Parker, Brian Cook, and Von Wafer. We couldn't lose! Then he could trade those three players for Brent Barry, Sean Marks, and Fabricio Oberto. Western Conference Finals, here we come!

Back to reality. Like I said, the Blazers play the L.A. Kobe's at the House of Lost Fortune tonight. Of course, the Blazers are permanently without the Kobe-Stopper, who is undoubtedly stopping Denver nannies from performing their contracted work in a safe environment. Nothing soothes the savage media beast in Portland like beating the Kobe's, so hopefully Mac-10 and the B-Boys can squeak this one out. The line on this one is the Kobe's -6.5, which, once again, sounds like a prime chance to make some scratch if you’re not averse to betting against the Red and Black.