Thursday, February 23, 2006

Ruben Movin'


So it finally happened. Ruben Patterson and Charles Smith are on their way to Denver along with Reggie Evans, Voshon Lenard and Vitaly "The Potato" Potepenko (credit for that nick goes to Nuss at SuperSonicSoul) are new Blazers, and Earl Watson, Byron Russell, and Denver's 2nd rounder are on the way to Seattle as we type. I gotta say that I like this trade, as it we rid ourselves of the Rube and we don't take back much. Lenard provides a decent stop-gap at SG and, probably most importantly, comes off the books next year, while Vitaly, though basically worthless, only makes about 3 million a year and is an upgrade from our third string turned starting center Ha. Ruben had some nice things to say after the loss to the Bobcats last night regarding his situation. So for hopefully the last time, take it away Ruben:

"This might be my last one. Thought I'd go out with a bang. This is it. I mean, let me be free. They need to trade me for a big man. This has gotta be my last game. I know the trading deadline is tomorrow and nothing against the fans of Portland, but I just want to be happy. Hopefully, things go right for me. I just want to start my career over."

Yes Ruben, 30 year-old back-up small forwards are setting the NBA on fire, and I'm sure you'll be the next to do so. Besides Ruben, I'll save my sympathy for Charles Smith, as he has the unlucky fortune of having to continue to serve as your teammate, and the citizens of Colorado, as if they haven't had enough experiance with NBA players moonlighting as sex offenders. I'm guessing Rube is going to be getting the majority of time at shooting guard, because he sure as hell isn't getting his personally mandated 25 minutes a night behind Carmelo. George Karl has said that he likes Ruben's game, though Rube's game has never been the problem. Time will tell whether or not Karl will like Ruben's mouth, attitude, and his way with the ladies.

The move also reunites Ruben with his old Cincinnati partner in crime Kenyon Martin. No word yet on whether or not Bob Huggins is sober enough to be brought on as an assistant coach, but Karl is definitely going to need someone around to dole out hush money to the scores of traumatized Denver residents whom Rube and K-Mart will undoubtedly leave in their wake.

So Denver gets some defense, Seattle gets a back-up PG with a hella long contract and a decrepit Byron Russell, and Portland gets a back-up PF/C and a little cap room, and one less Ruben Patterson. Wrap it up; I'll take it. So long Ruben, don't forget to register when you get to Colorado, you scum bag.

Update: It seems as if I spoke too soon. Rumor is the deal now has Brian Skinner coming to the Blazers from Sacto instead of Vitaly, in exchange for Sergei. Potepenko supposedly is off to the Kings, and the Blazers are still getting Lenard. I liked the first version a lot better. Skinner makes too damn much. This still hasn't been finalized, so who knows what it will look like when everything shakes out.

4 Comments:

At 1:27 PM, Anonymous DP said...

You didn't like Rube's personality....his charming, yet oh, so frightening baby-eatin' look. All that said, I will miss the bastard, seriously. You gotta like somebody who plays with his tenacity in this day and age. I mean, I'm not really old enough to know any different, but I hear pro ballers used to care about something other than money....just what I heard, though. I've seen Rube make some all-out hustle plays while here and I liked watching him play. I agree with you though, he is a scum bag. What was that thing he did...didn't he try to triple crown the under age baby sitter or something? Yeah, he is a dirty, dirty man but he hustled his ass off. Pretty sick outlook on my part, but hey, I'm a sports fan: I forgive the off court stuff, as long as you are on MY team and playing hard.

 
At 1:29 PM, Anonymous DP said...

Oh yeah, the bigga figga blog died...by died I mean, I kinda forgot about it. Maybe I'll write some of my stupid thoughts on it soon.

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

Don't deny the world of your gifts DP. Ruben was a real love/hate relationship for me. As a person, I always thought he was deplorable, but I'm not the kind of fan that thinks players have to be perfect. The thing with Rube was for every great hustle play he made, he'd make two moronic mistakes, like trying to go 1 on 3 in the fast break or bouncing the ball off his foot in the post. Ruben is the kind of guy that thinks if he makes a play on defense, that he intrisically should get the ball that play on offense. He's got no feel for the concept of "team offense" which should work real well on a team with scorers like Melo, K-Mart, and Andre Miller. My prediction is that Denver is begging for Ruben to leave come the end of next year.

 
At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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