Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Travis Tells All

Soon to be bobbleheaded Trail Blazer Travis Outlaw sat down for an online rap session with fans yesterday, and hot damn, did he dish some dirt! Sometimes it's hard to get athletes to open up, as every word they say is often scrutinized by fans and media alike, but Trav threw caution to the wind and told it like it really is. Take this juicy tidbit for example (all questions and answers are presented in their entirety):

Tom (Salem): Travis, what was the hardest thing to get used to the life of being an NBA player?

Travis Outlaw: I can't really say, it hasn't been a problem.

Finally, a player admits that being in the NBA is nothing but sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. So for all of you kids out there who were considering a life in the NBA but were concerned about the rigors of finding a good personal chef; take heart. Travis says it ain't that hard.

But what about strategy Travis? Everyone knows that Trav is one of the premiere tacticians in the NBA, and much of what he does mentally on the court is way over my head, but please Trav, give us a little taste of the complex cat and mouse that takes place on the court when playing a guy like, oh I don't know, Kobe Bryant:

Elyse, Santa Barbara: You guys host the Kobe and the Lakers tomorrow night. What are you going to do to try to end his hot streak?
Travis Outlaw: I'm just gonna try and be aggressive and stay in front of him.

Whoa Travis, slow down a bit. Some of us aren't versed in the intricacies of defensive theory in the NBA. And could you spell "aggressive" please?

But Travis, what about the other guys on the team. Some have criticized this team for being lazy and playing without heart, but we only get to see the games. Does that carry over into practices?

Chris (Hillsboro): Who is the hardest working player in practice?

Travis Outlaw:
Hmmm. I don't know, everybody works hard.

Hmmm is right Travis. I just assumed that no one was working hard in practice. Shows what I know. Any other juicy tidbits about the rest of the guys?

Ervin P.R: Hi Travis.Who is the funiest guy of the Trail Blazers?

Travis Outlaw: Zach.

Oh no you didn't! You better watch your back Outlaw. When word gets back to Zach, there's going to be trouble. You just don't call a player out like that without some sort of repercussion. If you got beef with someone, you keep out of the media Travis.

But what about Travis Outlaw, the real person. So many athletes try to put on a front, but I've got a feeling that Travis is different. What makes Travis Outlaw the beautiful snowflake that he is?

beaverton: what do u like to do on your free time? do u get much free time?

Travis Outlaw: I play my Playstation and go to the mall in my free time.

Fascinating. It's great to see a man in the tough guy, testosterone fueled NBA really open up and show us another side. But Travis, how are we to know that you're not one of those twinkle toed, show tune singing, face washers?

Brandon(Flint): What's your favorite pregame meal?

Travis Outlaw: Steak and potatoes with vegetables on the side.

Meat and potatoes. Now that's a man's meal, though the whole "vegetables on the side" part still sounds a little metro-sexual.

Well, I feel like I know Travis a whole lot better now than I did before the interview. Some guys think they have to give multi-sentence answers to articulate a point, but not Travis. He gets straight to the crux, without all the unnecessary expansion of salient issues that so many other interviews are cluttered with. Hopefully none of those unscrupulous media-types are going to misconstrue any of his comments. It would be a shame if other athletes clammed up after seeing Travis get drug though the mud for keeping it real.


At 11:42 AM, Blogger Jimmy said...

Your Blog. It's educational. I'm sure you may be interested in scommesse calcio . Not only scommesse calcio

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

Sadly, I'm not intrested in scommesse calcio Jimmy. I think everything that has to do with Italy sucks.

At 12:46 PM, Anonymous Super Dave said...

Could you spell "interested" please?

At 3:56 PM, Anonymous DDavis said...

Lance, I know for a fact that you like pesto pasta and garfield who eats lasagna. There goes your 'professional integrity'.

Seriously though the last two postings have been comedy gold, like those funny k words

At 4:21 PM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

Professionals get paid davis. And as a matter of fact, I had pesto last night,with a glass of Chardonney, while watching reruns of "Will & Grace", after taking my dog to the groomers. Now that's heterosexuality.

At 6:25 PM, Anonymous DDavis said...



I sure hope kobe scores 67 and the lakers lose. That's my booya.

At 4:49 PM, Anonymous dp said...

super dave is a real hard on lance...why does he gots to tear you up like that... bad grammer and spelling is "cool" now...right?


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