Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Theo Passes Math, Fails English.

While perusing today, I came across an interesting game in the "Fun Files" section of the site. It seems that Wyoming grad and energy drink mogul Theo Ratliff has his own "Math Challenge." While I was using my fingers to add 17+11, I noticed that the title at the top of the page read "Theos' Math Challenge." Of course, even I know that it should read "Theo's Math Challenge." No big deal. I then proceeded to read more of the question, the next line stating "TRAILBLAZERS vs. L.A Lakers" which is weird, because I could have swore that "Trail Blazers" is two words. And there are usually two dots when abbreviating Los Angeles as L.A.
Well, whatever. It was the next line that really confused me, as it reads "Sabastian Telfair scored 17 points and Shareef Abdur-Rahim scored 11 points." For crying out loud, you can't spell the name of one of your own players correctly? Does Sebastian know? Are the Blazers trying to teach math at the detriment of spelling and grammar? I know that a tech guy like Paul Allen would probably prefer to steer children to a life of math and science, but come on Paul, language arts are important too.


At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Told you...

"My nickname for Steve is "The Snowflake," because he's soft, white, melts under any kind of pressure, and is usually welcomed when it first shows up, but then becomes a nuisance come February."

"Once again, I'm not sure exactly why Juan was brought in. I realized that the Blazers are super thin at SG, but come on, Juan ain't the answer! Due to this, I am set on the nickname "A Million to" Juan Dixon, taking into account that P.Allen is paying him around 2.5 million a year for god knows what"

At 10:39 AM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

I'll give you Blake, he's been a rock, but I'm still not sold on Juan. He's living up to his rep as a streaky shooter, which is great when he's streaking good, but horrible when he's streaking bad. Case in point: The last ten games, Juan has gone 5-13, 11-18, 5-14, 6-11, 11-21, 3-10, 10-16, 10-13, 4-13, 5-12. It would be nice if he could be a little more consistant, but I'll take him for the price. I haven't checked, but I'd bet that he's one of the lowest priced starting SG's in the leauge, though his total lack of defense probably explains why he's not making the big dollars.

At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I'll take him for the price" and explaining why he's not making the "big dollars" sounds a little different than "god knows what Paul Allen is paying him 2.5M for." I didn't even think the Blazers brought him in to be a starter, as a matter of fact...

Would you call last night's 5-12 a "horrible" performance, despite 6 assists and 3 steals (must play a little defense to pull three steals, even if he's not strong on the ball) along with the clutch FTs? Seems a little harsh. Most shooting guards are somewhat streaky, especially those outside the true elite players in the league. 45% from the field isn't too bad for a jump shooting SG.

At 2:55 PM, Anonymous DDavis said...

It's easy to jump on someone who had the balls to express an opinion with the advantage of 3 months of hindsight, anonymously I might add, but give Lance a break on this one. The acquistion of both the former Terps were met with skepticism by a lot of people. Just like the rest of the Blazer fans still left I'm ecstatic they are playing well now, even if they still have one less win now than at the same point last season.

At 3:18 PM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

I would still argue that Juan isn't the answer, but I'll admit that halfway through the season, Juan has been better than I've expected. Juan's defense still sucks. 3 steals don't impress me. Seriously though, ditch the anonymous tag.

At 7:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's easy to jump on someone who had the balls to express an opinion with the advantage of 3 months of hindsight, anonymously I might add, but give Lance a break on this one. The acquistion of both the former Terps were met with skepticism by a lot of people

Yeah, it's "ballsy" to make ridiculous comments about guys he had clearly never seen play because "other people" were skeptical. Blake rode the pine. How would anyone know he was soft? There are plenty of ways to say you don't like a signing without completely ripping a guy who hadn't even gotten a chance yet. And the comparison to last season seems inappropriate vis a vis this discussion since the winning percentage has been higher once Blake started seeing significant playing time and Dixon started seeing more time.

I posted those comments mostly in jest anyway, even if I do think the criticism was both premature and a little bit overboard.

I would still argue that Juan isn't the answer, but I'll admit that halfway through the season, Juan has been better than I've expected. Juan's defense still sucks. 3 steals don't impress me. Seriously though, ditch the anonymous tag.

What's the difference between posting as anonymous and coming up with some pseudonym like Lance Uppercut? I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, I'm just asking why I need to bother registering.

Seriously though, Dixon's defense "sucking" is a red herring in light of the previous complaints. You initially said he was a waste of money. That hasn't been the case no matter what you think of his defense. Now he's "not the answer." The answer to what? You made a big point of ridiculing his low salary for a starting NBA 2 guard, but he's playing better than some other starting 2s who are making more. He was brought in to come off the bench as a role player and he has exceeded that expectation so I'm not sure how he's "not the answer" unless the expectation was suddenly modified. He's playing better than his salary and better than even you expected. I guess I don't understand what you want from him?

At 8:02 AM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

Maybe I should explain something here anon: I'm not one of these know-it-all sports guys. I make rash generalizations because it's a lot more interesting than saying "Juan could be good or bad. Lets wait until mid-season before we evaluate the efficacy of his signing." You're right, Juan has played well, but I beleive the "answer" to the Blazers shooting guard woes is obtaining a starting SG (at least until Martell is ready) which Juan is not. I took out my frustrations steaming from Nash's inability to obtain a starting SG out on poor Juan, and it was unfair.
Also, I did not ridicule his salary. It's a compliment to say that someone is one of the lowest paid starting SG's in the league, at least if he's playing decent. It's not exactly a good sign from a fans standpoint, but it certainly isn't a knock on Juan.
As far has saying his defense sucks, I beleive I stated that in the original post, stating he was one of the "undersized, no-D playing Maryland guys." I'd take Juan scoring no more than 10 points a game and playing good defense over his current game. This especially concerns me with Miles coming back, as Juan is going to have to deal with getting fewer shots. And if he's taking fewer shots, he's going to have to earn his minutes on the defensive end, or I'd rather have Vik's 7 popints, solid rebounding and defense at SG over Juan's on again, off again shooting and porous defense.
You might also remember that when I wrote the original post, Juan was jacking up brick after brick, and to someone like myself who hadn't seen him as much as a Maryland fan like yourself (am I correct in that assumption, or are you actually a Blazer fan), it was a litte disconcerning.
In conclusion, I guess it doesn't matter if you put in a name or not. You don't have to register, all you do is click the other tab and put in a name, no registration required. You have good solid opinions, it would be nice to diferentiate then from the other not-so-intellegent anonymous comments I get. Besides, I can look up your IP, where you're from, how long you've staying, and how often you return using the stat tracker, so there really isn't any anonimity anyway (not that I would so such a thing).

At 9:28 AM, Anonymous DDavis said...

I have a question for you Anon. Are you Juan and Steve's agent? Were you hired to ensure there names were not besmirched anywhere on the www? I mean you are doing a bang up job but if you're not getting paid aren't you taking this a little too personally?

C'mon Lance's site is out to be entertaining and to make people laugh. If you can't laugh about the Blazers this year the only other thing to do is cry.

What takes guts is attaching your name and your website to an opinion that can be agreed with or disagreed with by anyone in the world (or in Lance's case, greater Portland).

If you write something in jest try putting a smiley face next to it. That works for me.

At 10:22 PM, Anonymous jammin said...

I'm not anon but I have to say I agree with him. I find your blog immensely entertaining, btw. And you're right about the broad generalizations being funny--I usually crack up.

But the biggest reason I agree with anon is that everyone was dumping on Blake and Dixon when they came to Portland. I didn't follow them at Maryland but when reading up on them they seemed like decent guys and I wanted to give them a chance. When I saw Dixon play I thought "this is exactly what we need."

I also disagree with your point about rather having Dixon score less and play more defense, although that viewpoint certainly has its merits. My point is that this team needs scoring in any form and despite the "streaky" label everyone likes to hang on him (heck, Zach's been at least as streaky, and is shooting a lower percentage from anywhere on the floor) he's been a contributor on the offensive end in every game. He's also been good about not turning the ball over. If we played Charles Smith we would get less scoring and more defense but I don't think we'd have won as many games, no knock on Smith.

Dixon is well worth his salary and I hope he's here to stay. Same with Blake.

Keep up the good work Lance and don't get offended by Anon's comments because I think he has some legit points and if you agree with him just say "yeah you're probably right" and move on to the next rash generalization. :)


At 4:39 PM, Blogger Lance Uppercut said...

Good points all.

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